Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize