so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
