the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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