i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
