Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
