I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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