i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
