My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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