Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
