After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Randomize
