I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize
