Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
