The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
