oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
how drunk are you?
Several
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
