..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
so let's talk penis.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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