I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
