when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
