The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize