seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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