is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
