Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
