Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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