I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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