I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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