somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Randomize
