I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Randomize
