In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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