Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
