well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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