she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
