just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
