My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize