she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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