so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
