I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
ok first of all what the fuck
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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