i always forget guys have bellybuttons
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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