come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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