So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
