I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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