she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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