I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You ate ashes out of my bong
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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