I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize
