we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
