if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
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