There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Randomize
