oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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