kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
