I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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