addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
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