she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
