That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
So I just went to clothing optional bar
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
