Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
