I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
