Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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