Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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