Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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