He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
