Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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