in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
