Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
