i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
