Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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