What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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